“My dad is my world,” says Antoinett McNear.
It’s obvious that her father, Acia Gay, feels the same. “She’s been my baby since she took her first breath,” he insists.
But that doesn’t mean he was going to let her give him her kidney—at least, not at first.
While McNear, who is one of Temple University Hospital’s Community Health Workers as well as a Diabetes Prevention Lifestyle Coach, was all for the idea, Gay was much more hesitant.
“It’s a big commitment,” he explains. “I knew she would have to take time off work, and I just like to make sure she’s secure. Because if, God forbid, I knew she wasn’t going to be, I wouldn’t have this transplant. I would just live my life the way it was.”
But as they started the kidney donation process, Gay’s fears went away—largely because he saw how valued McNear was at Temple. “I’ve watched doctors, nurses, everyone support what she’s doing,” he says. “I’m proud of her, and I’m happy that she’ll be okay doing this. She’s building a career now, and I didn’t want any of my issues to hold her back or delay that. But with Temple folks around her, I think she’s good.”
It's not just McNear who’s appreciated, either. “From the cafeteria workers to registration to the labs, everyone has been very supportive of both of us,” Gay says. “We’ve built relationships with the employees as we go through this. “Even the valet guys know me, because I’m here so often. I walk up, and they’re like, ‘Hey, what’s going on? How’s it going? How are you feeling?’ Everyone is looking out for us.”
A History of Lifesaving Care
This isn’t Gay’s first time at Temple, either—or he and his family’s first positive experience with our Health System.
“I have three family members who’ve had successful kidney transplants here,” he explains. “And back in 2000, I had a massive heart attack that brought me to Temple. I drove to the hospital and passed out at the door, and the doctors here brought me back to life.”
“I used to be just an average man who didn’t like doctors, but after that, I got started with healthy eating, lost 100 lbs., and overcame diabetes,” Gay says. “Antoinett and everyone in our family: we all changed our diets.”
When Gay learned in November 2023 that he had kidney damage and would need at-home dialysis—and, eventually, a transplant—it was a blow to his active lifestyle, and his daughter was determined to help him find a solution. “It was just a no-brainer to offer him my kidney,” McNear says.
After Gay overcame his initial hesitation, everything was going smoothly until the donation process uncovered another problem with his heart. “He had to get four stents put in one artery and three in another,” McNear explains.
It was an intervention that saved his life—and put the kidney donation on hold for six months. However, once the waiting period was over, Gay was cleared to continue the donation process, and the surgery was scheduled for early March.
A Loving Sacrifice
As he prepares for the procedure, Gay has a very specific vision for his recovery. “I want to share the same room with Antoinett,” he says. “When I open my eyes after surgery, I want to be able to see her and know she’s okay. I want to open my eyes and know, ‘Okay, she’s over there.’”
He’s also focused on the magnitude of his daughter’s gift. “I cry almost every day,” he explains. “Right now, I’m a little choked up. I’m really grateful. I want to make sure she has everything she and her children need while we’re going through recovery. It’s a big deal, and a big sacrifice. And it’s a huge blessing.”
